A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
