break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
