The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
