After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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