So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize