yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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