It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
