you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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