if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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