Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Randomize
