I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
