the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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