You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
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