I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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