didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Boobs are out for the taking
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
