Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i wish my penis had a tongue
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I smell like Dick and happiness
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