I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
