Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Found your dick twin last night
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
