You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
