I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
