I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
