connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
