I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need to wash the frat house off of me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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