its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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