Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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