Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
