What did we do last night that was yellow?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it's like heaven, but drunker
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
