Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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