I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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