so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
