i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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