who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
