So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
