you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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