I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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