then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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