ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
