I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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