I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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