And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
