you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
