I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
