i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
