What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
