i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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