I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
