So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
