So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
