I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize