So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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