Pants 0. Shit 1.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
