She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
