Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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