My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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