did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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