Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
