hotel room ftw
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
