i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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