We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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