i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
