she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize