yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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