Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
