is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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