it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
