He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
