Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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