It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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